Everyday became a new challenge, a struggle to get through the day because his needs were complex rangzng from not understanding when he was hungry to having different sensory issues to not being fully potty trained even at the age of 4 and half years old. The most terrifying part of taking Aiman out was ensuring his safety as he had no sense of danger or understanding. On a few occasions, he ran into fast moving traffic in a blink of an eye. This was all new to us. I always say that I am eternally grateful that our boy is verbal because I cannot imagine how hard it is for those with a non-verbal child to get through each day. I remember his head teacher commented once, that even though Aiman is verbal and communicates well about what he sees on the surface, the conversations were never about him expressing his needs or his feelings. Rather, the topics were about toys, cartoons or anything he is fixated on: “the fact that he talks well goes against him when we are working with him” almost indicating that he is capable of more than he demonstrates. Yes, he talked excessively, but a lot of it was repetition and echolalia. Echolalia was one of the traits in Aiman’s behaviour that attracted a lot of attention as it was a clear trait of someone on the Autism Spectrum Disorder. We decided to go abroad when Aiman turned two to meet his grandparents and explore his roots. Before we went for his 2 years check-up, the HV who booked him for his appointment made an instant observation of how overactive Aiman was compared to other children who were also waiting to be seen. This reinforced the existing reports that had been compiled to document findings on a possible autism diagnosis. This really helped as we were away for nearly 5 months abroad as I took advantage of being on Maternity leave. It was a great opportunity to have a break, meet the in-laws again, and introduce the children to their grandparents. The break was needed but very challenging at the same time as Aiman was experiencing a new environment with unfamiliar faces although everybody was doing so much to accommodate his need, but no one was equipped to deal with it

It was new for them as it was a learning curb for us. A new terrain and lots of over stimulating factors played a part to exasperate his needs causing a lot of meltdowns. But it wasn’t all gloom and doom. He experienced unconditional love and organic village life from chilling out with the cows to making pets with the baby goat. He absolutely loved it and so did we as a family.

Once we had returned we contacted the GP to be sent for a referral of our concerns for Aiman and difficulties he was facing at home and school. We were soon put on the waiting list to be seen by the pediatrician for a diagnosis and further support i.e. SALT for Sensory Processing Issues. When he turned 4 and half, he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder based on our findings, nursery, Ed psychologist and other assessments reports. The highlighted areas of concern were a lack of understanding social cues, danger aspects and what emerged later at his school: dyspraxia and sensory needs that have to be regulated daily . Because of his IQ, the EHCP we designed which was quickly approved by the LA, was that Aiman was high functioning although his diagnosis is no longer categorised in this manner. As parents we felt because Aiman was struggling in a mainstream school and till this day he faces many obstacles, he would be better supported in a specialist setting. However because of his EHCP, the LA, and his social worker were involved. They all suggested a mainstream environment with the correct support and tools were available for him through LA funding and that it would be appropriate and soon excel.

What we have learnt from our little man is that fear will always be there unless you tackle it face on. Days and nights are exhausting and daily life is a struggle but we’ve learned to be ambitious, imaginative, and brave. Yes, life is about getting boxes ticked but it's also about supporting and celebrating all the differences that make us imperfect. But as a family we can fit all the missing pieces together. As Aiman grows older, we can see that cheeky intelligent caring and particularly funny little man shining through. Each day won’t be perfect, but with every challenge we will turn another stone and uncover gems that await Aiman.